Saturday, April 14, 2012

Talking to Senara


Hi, this is Bree again. So, I posted previously (wow, I've been writing a lot of the entries lately!) about how we made a deal with the fairy folk, they called in the favour by asking us to take in a fairy girl temporarily as an "exchange student" learning about humans, and yesterday our guest, Senara, arrived.

For several reasons, the family decided that Senara should share a room with me. We could have shifted things around so she'd have her own room, but that would have made things rather cramped for the rest of us... and even more importantly, we wanted to keep an eye on her just in case, since we're not sure why the fair folk decided to send her to us. Once we met her, there was a third reason too - she seems so unsure here, I want to be able to keep her company. I'm not sure if it'll help that I have fairy blood or not, since I was raised human. Maybe it's better than nothing? Either way, I think it's best for Senara not to be alone all the time.

Yesterday, we just kind of gave her space and let her process things. That's not to say we didn't talk to her. We did, but when she kept it on the small talk level, we didn't push for a deeper conversation.

After giving her a day to settle in, though, I decided it was time to have a real chat. Senara was up in our room, so I knocked - it's a little odd to knock when it's my own bedroom, but I didn't want to be impolite - and found her sitting on the floor staring off into space out the window, even though it was dark. It seemed like she was meditating or something, so I didn't interrupt. I just waited till she was done.

When Senara finally looked away from the window, I thought maybe she had tears in her eyes. She quickly managed to hide it, though, and soon she was smiling again. I was pretty sure she was smiling for my benefit, not because she was really happy all of a sudden. I think she just didn't want me to see that she was upset.

"Do you miss your home?" I asked.

"Hm...?" Senara replied absently, like she hadn't really heard me.

"Do you miss living with the other fairies?" I asked, rephrasing slightly.

She nodded, then blushed a little, like she'd said something rude. "It's nice here, too, though," she replied diplomatically.

"Well, this is only temporary," I said, trying to be comforting... but somehow Senara took it in a completely unintended way.

"Thanks for reminding me!" she snapped sarcastically.

At this point, I was rather baffled. She had just said she missed her home. So why was she mad at me for reminding her that she's just a guest here, and she doesn't have to stay forever? I wondered if maybe I'd made her feel unwelcome. She has to know that this is payment for a favour on our part, not something we just volunteered for. We probably would have been willing to host her either way if she'd asked, but there's a lot more going on here, and that complicates things. I tried to backpedal a bit.

"Not that we don't want you to have a nice long visit or anything," I assured her. "You can stay as long as you want. Heck, never leave if you don't want to go."

Senara stared at me for, like, a full minute. Now, a minute doesn't normally seem like a lot of time, but when someone is using it to look you directly in the eye, a minute seems awkwardly, interminably long indeed.

"You don't know?" she finally asked. "No one told you...?"

I waited for her to finish her sentence, but it eventually became clear that when she trailed off, she had trailed off for good.

"Told me what?" I asked.

Senara shrugged and looked down. "Nothing," she said in that quiet tone that tells you it's definitely not nothing.

Realizing I wasn't likely to get any more info by pushing, and I might make her just clam up entirely, I said, "I just meant that if you want to be with the fairy folk again, you should remind yourself that you aren't stuck here forever or anything. As far as I'm concerned, though, you can be my roommate for life if you want."

Senara looked at me with this expression like... well, like I was being sweet but totally missing the point. "Thank you," she replied, and changed the subject to a complicated question about the constellations we can see from this latitude that I couldn't answer without looking it up online. I kind of got the feeling that sending me off to look for information was on purpose so I'd stop questioning her.

So... is it just me, or was that a little weird? I mean, I get it if she's just homesick. I would be too, if I randomly got sent off to live with her family, even if I wanted to be an "exchange student" - and we aren't totally sure to what degree this was even actually Senara's choice. I can't help thinking there's something else going on, though. Something deeper than just missing familiar things and people.

Am I reading too much into nothing?

Love,
Bree

8 comments:

  1. Hi Bree! It sounds like Senara is definitely homesick. I have to wonder though... what is she referring to as "nothing"? I'm glad that you are sharing a room; maybe at another time you can talk more. Good luck!

    Love,
    Reese <3

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    1. Bree says:

      Yeah, I'm wondering that too. And it sort of worries me. Is this something that could harm us? Is it something that could harm her, but that we could help with?

      I'll definitely keep trying to talk to her!

      Love,
      Bree

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  2. Hmmmm .. interesting .. it will be interesting to see what happens .. whatever she meant about you do not know?? Wild, we are going to be missing you while we are gone, cannot wait to see what is happening. We have three days and a wake up here then we are off to Seattle for our flight to NY .. so we can catch up on what is going on with you for a few more days ..

    Hugs,
    Marsali

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    1. Bree says:

      We're anxious to see what will happen, too. ;-)

      It's definitely worrisome that there's something we don't know. I think we ought to find it out. It may be important.

      You must be so excited about your trip! Random factoid: Blakeney is hoping some of our family can take a trip to Seattle this summer.

      Love,
      Bree

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  3. Bree,
    As I was re-reading what Senara said, it got me thinking that the clue is in how she said it, not what she said.
    Correct me, but it seems like she said it rather snappishly. It was like, 'You don't know--it seems like everyone else does.' Do you think she is being punished by the fair folk? Maybe she did something wrong-- but how does this benefit them by sending Senara to you? Maybe she knows something (or I am watching too much NCIS) and they had to get her out of town. It seems like she is really disturbed about something.
    Maybe you all ought to have a special party in her honor. Make it really special, by finding out from her what she likes. It could be a tea party, who doesn't love tea and cake. Or a party with games, of course my sisters all think my 1904 games are boring. How can you compare Twister with croquet? But I digress... Make her feel special and maybe then you can pump her, I mean ask her for more information. Good luck as we are waiting here with baited breath!

    Love,
    Samantha

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    1. Bree says:

      Hi, Samantha.

      "You don't know - it seems like everyone else does" would be a good description of what she seemed to be saying. She wasn't snappish at that point, though. It seemed like she almost felt a little bad for me because I was left out of the loop. I don't really understand the reaction, though.

      The only point at which she seemed snappish was when I said the situation was temporary. That made her really angry all of a sudden, but then the anger quickly went away when I clarified.

      It was almost like... like she thought I was mocking her, or something. But how could that be mocking?

      Something is definitely bothering her. You may be right that she's being punished. She seems... sort of afraid, and sort of resigned to something. I'm just not sure what she's afraid of or resigned to.

      I like your party idea! We'll give it some thought!

      :-)

      Love,
      Bree

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  4. Bree,
    I'm looking forward to hearing more about Senara! It can be so hard adjusting to living in a new place, with a new family. I know she will feel welcomed- your family is so cozy and friendly.

    Inky

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    1. Bree says:

      Hi Inky. Thanks for commenting! Sorry it took us so long to get it posted and replied to. :-)

      I'm sure it's hard for Senara, and I can't blame her. She's being very brave, though.

      Love,
      Bree

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