Thinking About Japan

Hi, this is Kirsten.

We debated about whether to blog about the earthquake in Japan, not because we didn't think it was important... quite the contrary. More like because it was so huge and so tragic, we didn't quite know what to say that wouldn't be trite, especially since we weren't personally affected.

In the end, though, we decided that we didn't want to let it pass without mention, and without publicly voicing our support and well-wishes for those who were affected. We're all citizens of the same world, and tonight we're thinking of those who were killed, those who are missing or whose loved ones are missing, those who are displaced, and the rescuers trying to help them.

Love,
Kirsten and Sisters

Career Plans

What do you want to be when you "grow up"? For some of us, that's closer than others. Kirsten only has two more years before university, whereas Evelyn is only in Grade Three. All this is subject to change, but this is what we're currently thinking thinking we want to do for careers.

Kirsten: Politician, political activist, or lobbyist.

Bree: Psychologist or librarian.

Felicity: Doctor or craft store owner. Maybe I'll start as a doctor and do crafts once I retire!

Josefina: Journalist and (not or!) travel writer

Molly: Artist, of course. Probably mostly painting and sculpting.

Kaya: Teacher and Native rights advocate.

Charissa: Dog trainer, animal behaviorist, and/or vet

Fiona: (We don't know yet. We haven't gotten a chance to talk to her.)

Evelyn: Own a horse stable, own a greenhouse, or be a teacher at an elementary school. Maybe all three!


How about you, readers? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Attention seeking, low standards, and trust issues

Hi, this is Bree. I'm still traveling, and I'm bored, so I decided to write something for the blog. It ended up being more serious and introspective than I was expecting. This post is gratuitous self-analysis, so if you don't want to hear about all my emotional problems (and I don't blame you) feel free to skip it. What I'm trying to do is figure out the ways in which I self-sabotage, so I can stop doing it.

I don't want to be one of those people who blame all their problems on their bad childhood. I know we're all responsible for our own actions. The thing is... sometimes when we don't get much love when we're little, it messes with our minds when we get a little older. I never got much affection from my parents. They were actually pretty terrible to me for the most part.

I think everyone needs attention. If we don't get that, we get kind of weird about it. I seek out attention. Not in a really obvious way. It's subtle. I want people to like me, though, and if the people show me even the slightest interest I latch on like a puppy. Not good. Not healthy.

That's what I mean by the "low standards" part of the title. When I'm getting a little attention and someone seems to care at all, I don't really ask the right questions or expect much. Even if they're being kind of wretched to me or are just one step above completely ignoring me, it doesn't occur to me that I deserve better. I leave myself wide open to getting hurt by people who are cruel... or even more often, people who are just indifferent towards me. More people are indifferent than actively cruel - but in the end, the results are more or less the same.

When that hurting happens (and it's pretty much inevitable) I pull back from everyone. Even people who are genuinely nice or want to help. So I sabotage myself twice. I cling to the wrong people, and when I get burned by them it makes me ignore the right ones.

All this sounds kind of dire, but I actually think that recognizing it is going to help. I'm going to try not to do that anymore. It's after the 1st of January, so I can't make a New Years Resolution... but I think I'm going to make a New Place Resolution. In my new home, I'm not going to mess things up for myself. I'm going to do my best to trust my new family, because they deserve my trust, and I'm going to ignore people who don't deserve it.

So says Bree. :-)

Things about us that are different

Do you have things about you that are different? Disabilities, diseases, disorders? Some of the girls in our family do. It's not the main focus of our lives, and that's why most of the time we blog about other things - usually there's just not much to say about it. We wanted to share this, though, in case some of you can relate.

Molly has what is currently known as Asperger Syndrome. (The reason for this phrasing is that the next edition of the DSM, in 2013, may eliminate Asperger's as a diagnosis and include it in the broader diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorders.) Basically, her brain works a little differently from other people's, and some social stuff is harder for her. It also makes her very focused on her interests, particularly art in her case. Molly is what's called "high functioning." She goes to a regular school - actually she's in the gifted program - and participates in activities with her classmates. Sometimes people ask if Molly has friends; yes, she does. She has some extra challenges but for the most part she's just like any other girl her age.

Molly also has an eye disease called Keratoconus. The causes aren't known for sure but it's believed to be genetic. Basically, it's a degenerative disease of the cornea. She's going to need to get special contact lens, and someday she may need corneal transplants if it gets more serious.

Charissa has a hearing impairment. She is not profoundly deaf; she has some hearing. She does have to read lips in conversations, though. Charissa also has some minor learning disabilities, so she has to work harder in school to keep up.

Kaya is lactose intolerant so she has to avoid eating too much dairy. Not a big deal.

The other thing you've probably figured out is that a lot of us have some traumatic things in our past. That's kind of part and parcel of being foster kids. Most of us go to therapy to deal with that stuff. Like we said, it doesn't control our lives. It's part of who we are... but definitely not the total!

We don't want to keep this stuff secret because we don't think people should be ashamed. There's nothing wrong with being different. :-)

Love,
The Green Girls

What we did today

This is Josefina, giving you a quick update on the day we all had.

Kirsten started driver's ed today! People of Canada, beware. The first Green is now out there on the road! Just kidding. Kirsten is actually a safe driver... so far.

Felicity is writing a report about Wuthering Heights for school. She's very meticulous, so of course it will be perfect.

Molly had to leave school in the afternoon to go to the eye doctor. I don't think we've told you this before, but Molly was diagnosed with a degenerative disease of the cornea a couple of months ago. If it wasn't for the doctors, she could go blind, but luckily even if it gets bad they'll probably be able to fix it with surgery. Today she got good news from the doctor. It hasn't progressed very much since her last visit, and it's still only affecting her right eye. She doesn't need surgery yet, yay! She'll have to go back to the doctor next month, but for now, things are good.

Kaya had ballet class after school. They're starting to get ready for their spring recital. Kaya is in a whole bunch of dances, for both ballet and modern. She says some of the stuff is hard and she's tired after practice, but she has a good time and it's worth it.

Charissa and Evelyn spent the afternoon at the children's library after they got done with school. They were going to play outside with some of the kids in the neighbourhood, but it was too melty to play in the snow and too grey, slushy, and cold to have much fun playing sports, so they're saving that for another day. They both brought home lots of books and are reading them.

So who's left? Just me, Josefina. (Bree is still in transit and has nothing much to report.) My afternoon has been pretty leisurely. I was trying out some of my abuela's pastry recipes. I used to make them with her while she was still living, but I've never made them on my own before. I think they turned out pretty good! The girls are going to give their final opinion on that after supper, though.

That was what happened today at our house! :-)

Love,
Josefina

Family Meeting

Hi, this is Kirsten.

Tonight Blakeney called us into the living room for a family meeting. We talked about it beforehand, and as far as we knew there was only one possible explanation. We were in trouble.

There wasn't any specific thing we thought we were in trouble for, but we're not perfect angels, so there could definitely be something. (Like the argument me and Josefina had over the TV.) The only times we really have family meetings are when we're getting a new foster kid, when something major is changing, or we did something wrong.

We couldn't think of anything about to change, and they wouldn't place a new foster kid with us at the same time as Bree because each kid needs time to settle in, so the only thing left was being in trouble. We were going to try to deny it, whatever it was, and if that didn't work, we'd have to apologize. We were prepared.

Turns out we weren't in trouble, though. Blakeney had some news to spring on us. Remember how Bree said in her post (I think she just called it "Bree's First Post" or something) that she had a sister she'd been visiting? Well, Blakeney called to see what was going on. Turns out that Bree's sister is still in foster care. She's waiting to be adopted but no one had applied to adopt her yet. See where this is going...? ;-)

Normally we wouldn't be getting anyone new here so soon, but this is an exception because it's best to keep siblings together if possible. It's possible this time. Blakeney says if we're going to be eight sisters,we may as well be nine.

Bree didn't say much about it when we told her on the phone, but we think she was crying. She definitely said "thank you" a lot.

So yeah, this was a HUGE surprise for us. We're getting TWO new sisters, not one. That's never happened before. Bree is on her way... and two weeks later, we're going to be welcoming Fiona!

Crazy, isn't it? :-D

Love,
Kirsten

Dossiers: Added Bree

Hey everyone! As you know, we're eagerly awaiting the arrival of our new sister. In the meantime, she answered some questions for us so we could make a dossier for her. That way we can all get to know each other better, and she won't be a total stranger when she shows up.

We added Bree's dossier to the long post with the rest of them, so you can find our whole family in one place. In case you don't want to wade through that to see, though, we're reposting it here so you can get to know our cousin/new sister. :-)

***

Name: Bree

Age: 15

Where he/she attends school: Local public high school

Favorite color: Red, blue, and black

Favorite food: PB&J sandwiches, dried fruit

Personal Causes: At risk and homeless youth, mentoring, poverty relief, educational support and reform, anti-censorship

Favorite passtime: Reading, mocking stupid movies, jogging, sketching

Three words YOU would use to describe their personality: Thoughtful, determined, creative

Three words HE/SHE would use to describe his/her personality: Ordinary, shy, timid

Favorite Quote: "In this beautiful life, there's always some sorry. And it's a double-edged knife, but there's always tomorrow. It's up to you now if you sink or swim. Just keep the faith that your ship will come in. It's not so bad..." -Great Big Sea

Brief biography in 250 words or less: Bree is the Green girls' cousin, now adopted sister. Prior to living with the Green family, she alternated between living with each of her divorced parents, and they rarely had enough money. Her rough experiences growing up led her to be very compassionate and made her very aware of poverty, particularly as affects children and young people. She is quiet and rather shy, but is a deep thinker. Bree aspires to be a psychologist or a librarian someday... and she gets lots of practice with the psychology keeping her new sisters in line.

I'm a vegetarian

This is Charissa. I've decided to become a vegetarian. I love animals very much and I don't want to eat them anymore.

Before I made the decision, I had to read about nutrition to make sure I could still get everything that I needed in my diet if I didn't eat meat. I found out that I still can! I just have to make sure my meals are balanced.

No one else in my family is a vegetarian and that's OK. I've just decided that for me, I don't want to eat animals anymore.

Your friend,
Charissa :-)

Bree's First Post

Hi, this is Bree, posting for the first time. I'm not actually at my new home yet. I'm at an internet cafe near the train station in Winnipeg. So... still pretty far from my destination, but I'm getting there.

I'm not really sure what to say about myself that would be interesting. The girls say they're going to "interview" me for the blog when I get there, so I guess I'll save the main intro stuff for that.

You're probably wondering what my deal is, though. What kind of person just disappears? Bree must be a big flake.

Well... not entirely. I'm not that big. ;-) Maybe I'm a flake, but that wasn't what was going on here. Like the other girls said, I didn't know anyone was trying to find me. What they didn't say is where I actually was. It's not their fault; it's because I didn't actually tell them until today.

For the past few months, I've pretty much been crashing on various people's couches. Things weren't good with either of my parents, and obviously they weren't deeply concerned about where I was. I didn't think it mattered that I didn't exactly have a forwarding address.

While I was moving around, I got some news. When I was younger, my parents had another kid that my mom kept when she split with my dad. My younger sister. At some point, my sister wasn't living with my mom anymore. I knew she was a foster kid, but nothing more than that, nothing about where she was, so I didn't think I'd ever see her again.

Then one day I was at a friend's house flipping through channels, and they were doing a news story about states with the best and worst foster care outcomes. They did a few background pans of rooms full of kids... and I saw my sister!

I took off pretty fast.

So that's where I was. Visiting my sister. A sister the Green Girls didn't know I had, because our families haven't been in touch in the meantime. I know, I'm fifteen, and someone should know where I am. I'm not trying to make an excuse. I'm not going to just go off on my own again, now that I have a family who actually cares.

I just wanted you to know I had a good reason for what I did, though, since it was probably a mystery when you couldn't see it from my point of view. Next time I write for the blog, I'll try not to be so serious!

Your friend,
Bree (the new Green)

Weirdness Again

Kaya here. :-)

More weird stuff at our house. We're starting to think it may be haunted! (Actually, there's been some debate at our house about whether ghosts are real; the vote is pretty evenly split.) Otherwise we're not sure how to explain this stuff.

We were all sitting around in the living room tonight. Felicity was doing some kind of homework thing, I was reading a magazine, Molly was sketching, Charissa was playing with her stuffed animals, and Evelyn was carrying on a boisterous and apparently two-way conversation with the houseplant. (She's not crazy, don't worry. She's just an eight-year-old playing pretend.)

Kirsten and Josefina were arguing over the TV remote. Josefina said we'd already watched news today and didn't need to watch another news show, while Kirsten retorted that it wasn't fair to watch something in Spanish because most of us can't understand it. They seemed to be at a stalemate, and eventually they were yelling so loud that neither of them could hear the television anyway, so I'm not sure what the point was.

Kirsten was making a particularly impassioned argument for watching Jim Lehrer, and suddenly a glass on the table between them shattered. They both just kind of stared at it for awhile. It was in a million tiny pieces, almost like sand.

Felicity looked up from her homework and told them to chill. I'm not sure if it's what she said or because of the glass, or if the debate had just run its course, but suddenly they both decided they wanted to watch the Wizard of Oz DVD instead.

The point is, a glass just shattered! For no reason! My opinion? Definitely haunted!

-Kaya