Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Letter and a Trip

Hey, this is Summer! I have two pieces of news to fill my bloggy friends in on. :-)

First of all, remember (or I will remind you...) how the day after my birthday, I asked Inna and Maia if we could find out about my biological family? Well, as I updated in the comments on that entry, Maia sent a letter to the Children's Aid Society that placed me for adoption, to see what they knew about my background. Yesterday we got a letter in response. I was pretty excited, but also kind of scared and nervous to find out what it said!

They sent what's called "non-identifying information," which basically tells me some things about my biological parents and why I was in foster care, without telling their names or giving information that would lead to figuring out who they are. I have to wait till I turn eighteen to get my full records... which I find kind of lame because my adult adoptive sister who has custody of me said it was okay. I can wait a few more years, though. It kind of takes the pressure off making decisions about meeting them if I can't yet anyway.

The coolest thing was it told me what my biological parents looked like. No pictures, but there was a description. As I already knew, my dad was black and my mom was white. I got my curly hair from both of them, and my amber eyes from my dad's side of the family. Actually it sounds like I look more like my dad in general. My hobbies are more like my mom, though. She liked writing and horses, too. One cool thing I found out was that my dad had been to college; I guess I just kind of assumed neither of them would have. They were pretty young, though, and they had some problems, including drinking and drugs, so they didn't take good care of me and I ended up in foster care. (They didn't abuse me, though, but I knew that.) My parents worked on a case plan for awhile, but they weren't able to get it together in time and they lost their parental rights. It didn't say if they were still alive or not, but they were as of when I was adopted, so hopefully their lives went better after that.

There was also information about my first adoptive family who sent me back, but I just kind of skimmed it. It was what I remembered. They were married, upper middle class, two other kids that they had by birth. I wasn't really interested in the details, but maybe I will be someday. Right now I kind of feel like if they didn't want me, why should I care about them? I have a new family now, that loves me. I set that part of the letter aside.

All in all, I feel pretty good about this. I found out some information, and it satisfied some of my curiosity. Someday when I'm older, I'd like to find out more, but I'm content for now. I'm glad I asked Maia and Inna to help me get the info.

Also, on a totally different subject, Blakeney is taking a trip to visit her parents and grandparents in upstate New York - and she's taking me with her! I'm so excited! I've never been to the United States before, and the other girls say there's a lot of cool stuff to do in the Rochester area. Blakeney's favourite restaurant in the whole world is in there - a really good Ethiopian place, and we don't have an Ethiopian restaurant here at all - so we'll probably eat there the day our flight gets in. Blakeney's parents live in a smaller town in the area, so we'll get to experience some rural life too. I'll try to post some blog entries from our trip!

Bree may get to go with us too. She really wants to, but she's trying to figure out if she can miss that much school. She's never been to New York State either, although she grew up in the United States, so for her it's not a new country.

Hopefully it'll work out. It would be fun to have Bree along! We would have loads of fun in Flower/Flour City, and visiting Blakeney's folks! Bree and Summer, painting the town red... not literally. I hope she gets to go too, but I'm on the trip for sure.

So that's our news for now. Hope life is good for our blog friends, too. :-)



  1. I'm glad that you found out the information that you wanted, and are satisfied with that.

    And congrats on the trip! I hope that Bree gets to go too and that you've a great time!

  2. Summer says:

    Hi, Aurora! And thanks! :-)

    I admit that I'm still curious about some things. I'd really like to know my biological parents' names, and maybe meet them someday. Maybe it's better to take it in small steps, though. I do feel better knowing some than knowing none at all, so I can be satisfied for now - which is good, because I can't find out more yet anyway.

    When I'm old enough to get the rest of my information, I'm going to. I'd rather know as much as I can, and then I can decide what to do with it.

    I'm definitely looking forward to my trip! I wonder if I can take my yoga mat, or if it's too big...


  3. Hello, Summer.
    That is good that you got some information about your biological family. I only know a little bit about my biological mother, but that was her choice. She was a surrogate since Papa wanted a baby, but she does not have any rights to me. I know she lives in Miami and is a dolphin trainer. I sometimes wonder if she thinks about me, but right now I do not feel the need to have a relationship with her.

    Have fun in New York! I used to live in NYC. It was crazy and fun.


  4. Summer says:

    Hi, Angelica! :-)

    That's cool that your biological mother trains dolphins. Dolphins are so pretty! I'm sure she thinks of you. After you carry a baby for nine months, I don't think you just forget. She's probably really glad you're happy with your fathers.

    I can see why you don't feel the need for a relationship for now, though. You already have a family that takes care of you, like I do.

    I wouldn't want to move back in with my biological parents or anything. I'm happy with my adoptive family. I just... wanted to know a few things. Maybe someday I'll meet them, but not yet.

    NYC sounds really fun - but very different from where we're going. Rochester is a city but not a huge one, and where Blakeney's parents live is pretty rural.

    I'm so excited for our trip! I'm having major trouble deciding what to pack, though.


  5. Bree says:

    As an update, I'm still hoping to go, assuming my school cooperates.

    I'm a little scared of flying, though. I've never been on an airplane. By "a little scared" I mean "have visions of twisted metal and fiery death resulting from mechanical failure and subsequent crash dancing in my head."

    I'll need to get over that, if I go. :-P


  6. I think it's great that you found out more about your biological parents. And I also think you are wise to take it in small steps (even though you are being forced to - you seem okay with that). That way you have time to take it in.

    I hope you have fun in Rochester! And Bree, you will be fine. Planes are fun. You get snacks, and sometimes if it's a long flight you get to watch a movie. (I'm not sure how long of a flight you have to Rochester?) I'm sure Summer would let you hold her hand.


  7. Kirsten says:

    You have so been on a plane, Bree! Remember Florida? What, are you claiming you teleported there?


  8. Bree says:

    Oh yeah! How did I forget that? Maybe I repressed it. I pretty much spent the whole time either sleeping, or blasting my headphones with my eyes glued to a book, pretending I was anywhere but there. I guess it worked! :-P

    At least airplanes have now been proven to be survivable...

    Anyway, thanks for the encouragement, Harper. There are three flights between here and Rochester. They range from three hours to one. I should have plenty of time to watch a movie... and be afraid.

    And make Blakeney eat snacks. She gets very very grumpy when she's hungry, and I don't want to deal with it! ;-)

    Bree (a little embarrassed I forgot that!)

    P.S. Summer says I can hold her hand as long as I don't squeeze too hard. If I do, she'll bite me. Which is fair enough, I guess...

  9. Bree says:

    By the way, Summer, if you bite me, will I be able to turn into a cat, too?

    Because that would be pretty cool... might be worth it!


  10. Summer says:

    Not as far as I know. Maia's pretty sure it's genetic. If I bit you, you'd just have teeth marks and a sore arm.

    -The Sum(mer) of All Fears

  11. Bree says:

    Alas! I would have made a splendid cat!

    *hand dramatically across forehead*

    And yes, you are totally terrifying! (Not!) :-P


  12. Salut!
    I'm glad that you found some info about your biological parents. I'd be very excited, too, and I'd probably delve in and discover as much as I can. Elizabeth would suggest "creeping" online (oh, I miss her so much...she's hilarious...).
    Have fun on your trip! I love riding in planes, and I never pass up an opportunity to do so.

  13. Summer says:

    You know, I'd be tempted, Sabine. The problem is, there's not really enough information for me to do any online searching. I'm not even sure where I would start. When I turn eighteen, I'll be allowed to learn more.

    Thanks for the encouragement about the trip! I'm excited, but Bree is still nervous, and it helps her to hear you like to fly.


  14. Hi Summer,
    Wow, finding out new information about your biological parents is a Big Deal. I'm also adopted- I was born in Russia. I don't know much about my biological family, but my parents have told me everything they know. I think it's very important for adopted kids (and adults!) to have full access to information on their origins. Opening all adoption records is a dream I hope our politicians can make come true- it would make a big difference in the lives of so many adopted folks.

    I looked up Rochester on my New York State map- wow, it is pretty far from New York City! If it were closer, I would really love to meet you.

    Have you ever considered visiting Women's Rights National Historical Park? It's in Seneca Falls, about an hour from Rochester. I would love to earn their Junior Ranger badge, but it's pretty remote and not on the way to anywhere my family usually goes.

    Wow, I wrote a lot!


  15. Summer says:

    Hi Inky!

    Yeah, I think it's a Big Deal too. Luckily I was born/adopted in Ontario, where they have open records. I hope someday there will be open records for everyone. I wish it was easier for international adoptees to find out information about their backgrounds, too.

    I've never been to Seneca Falls (or anywhere in the United States yet) and I don't think we'll have time this trip because it's mainly for visiting family, but some of my sisters have gone.

    Kirsten, Felicity, Molly, and Charissa went there a couple of times when they used to live in New York, and they said it was really cool! They especially liked the museum part, which had some really interesting displays.

    If you ever get chance to go, Inky, they say they think you would like it.

    Unfortunately, yeah, we'll be far from New York City. New York is an enormous state! If any of us are ever in the NYC area, though, we will totally let you know because we'd love to hang out with you. Maybe someday!

    I wrote a lot too. But that's okay. ;-)


    P.S. Kaya apologizes for the horrendous typo she made on your blog - she says she left out several words. She did proofread it but I guess she just wasn't looking carefully when she read over it. Hopefully you'll understand what she meant! :-)