Hello. This is Clare. :-)
Our plan was to continue blogging from home while Bree, Summer, and Blakeney took their trip... but frankly, not that much that's interesting has been happening here. We've been going to school - well, homeschooling for me and some of the days for Kaya - and doing our usual activities. We didn't find much to write about.
So this isn't really a news post, but a sort of thinky, speculative post. (If you want news, Bree and Summer each posted an entry from their trip, so you can check that out in the previous posts.) What I'm writing now was inspired by some comments on the post about how we saved Kiwi from bad vampires. Several people noted that the bad vampires didn't seem like they're very smart.
I think that's true, in a way. I think there's another piece to it, though: they act more like animals than like humans. More instinctive, less good at plans... backup plans nonexistent. It makes sense, because they're hunters. Predators. Just with humans for prey.
So why am I different? I mean, I'm not claiming I'm the smartest person in the world or anything, but I can think things through. I can plan, and make choices. I don't attack people. I don't even attack the dog. But I'm a vampire too. So... why?
I think it's a matter of lifestyle. When I was first turned, I was like them, and thought like them - because they turned me, and I lived with them. Once I ran away, things changed. I'm part of society again. I have a family, that I very much do not want to eat. I do school lessons and read books, so I have more to think about than my next meal. I go places. I spend time around humans in a non-food capacity. I think that helps me focus, and remember that people are not meals. It keeps getting easier the more I practice.
So yeah, there are animal-acting, hunter vampires. And then there's me. I don't think I have anything innately special that makes me different. I think I just live in such a way that I can't disengage my emotions about other people or check out of society. I have people I care about, that I don't want to harm - and they care about me in return. It keeps me sane. In a very, very literal way. Even though it's tough sometimes, I'm glad for that.
Love,
Clare
I think a person definitely has to practice self-control in a situation like yours, and since you very much want to and have so much practice at it, you're good at it. That's pretty awesome!
ReplyDeleteClare says:
ReplyDeleteHi Lucy. :-)
I don't want to congratulate myself too much on my self-control, because although I have it now, I didn't at first. When I first became a vampire, I did some really bad things - although I didn't really have much choice under the circumstances I was in. I still feel really bad about it.
I really want to be a good person now and in the future, though. I think a vampire can be a good person. It just takes some work. It's worth it, though, not to have to try to ignore my conscience.
Love,
Clare